So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
