Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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