Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
