I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
