I am spending my child support on dildos
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
