Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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