i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
