SEEEEXXX PLEASE
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
