no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
