We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
