I think my vagina is haunted
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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