Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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