omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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