So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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