The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
