He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He had one of those small greek statue penises
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
