In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
That's intense
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
