White coat. Heels.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
