We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
