And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
