And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
