real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
