Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
