shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
