I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Also, beer. Big fan.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
