I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
its not stalking. its research.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
