I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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