yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
