i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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