The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
