If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
