need another drink. this is the easiest way
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I miss vodka workout Fridays
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
