batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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