I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
No more Irish car bombs ever.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
