that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
