Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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