Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
