If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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