i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
