He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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