see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just invented taco cereal.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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