I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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