when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
