So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
