and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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