What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
