theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
