how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Randomize
