I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Sext me about skeletons
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
