And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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