Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
