dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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